It took me about four years, but I think I've finally got it figured out. I met the mom of my dreams last February. And you can too by following these
Mom Dating - How to Meet the Mom of Your Dreams in 12 Steps:
1. Get Ready - I suggest looking presentable, but not too presentable. You don't want to scare off the moms by looking red carpet ready. You also don't want to scare off the moms by looking like you emerged from a swamp. Unless, those are the looks you are going for, have at it! Pick one or two things to show that you kind of have your shiz together. Ie: lip gloss, hair done, non ratted yoga pants, shaving your legs and/or armpits, etc. I personally go with a dab of mascara.
2. Go Where the Moms Go - I'm an introvert so this can be an overwhelming one for me. Why is there no Tinder for moms yet? Seriously. Until we have Mom Tinder, go to the park, playgroups, mommy and me yoga, sports/dance teams, etc. I found the mom of my dreams at the park. Also, the park is free and full of ALL the types of moms.
3. Use Your Children - Once your kid has finally reached the age where they can go off and make friends of their own, it's great. Send little Olivia or Noah to the swings, slides, etc. and pray that they will meet a kid you like, and more importantly, a mom you like.
4. Assess the Mom - From a distance, be shallow. While the kids are playing, look for the mom and judge her by her cover. I know, I know, this sounds awful. Is she dressed to perfection and doesn't look tired at all? Maybe you want to figure out how she does it? That is your mom. Does she look like a hot mess and you can totally relate? That is your mom. Are you super passionate about extended breastfeeding and she is nursing her 4 year old? That is your mom. I personally go for the mom that looks halfway like she has her shiz together but could be a little bit off her rockers.
5. Slither Towards Them - Once you have picked your mom, make your way toward the kids. Likely, the mom will go towards them as well. If she doesn't, and you know she saw you, she's just not that into you. Don't take it personally. I know plenty of moms who don't like me. Once I ate meat at a party and was deemed the black sheep.
6. Compliments Time - First, compliment the child in the form of a question. Ie: "Oh my goodness, he is so good at pumping his legs on the swing. How old was he when he learned?" Conversation going well? Now compliment the mother. Ie: "That carrier is amazing. Where did you get it?"
7. Make a Joke About Yourself - Every mom wants to think they've got it a little bit more together than the rest. Or wants to know that it's not just them. All us moms are a little bit bat shiz crazy! So, make yourself look less than perfect. Maybe something like, "That is awesome that he will eat PB&J. My kid won't eat hardly anything. She ate waffles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner yesterday." Or, "I know it's terrible but I have to bribe my kid to wear clothes when the maintenance man comes." Note: these are both true of my oldest.
8. Lock in that Number - Once it's time for you to get going, and you think there is a chance at a beautiful future together, lock in that phone number! Don't assume that you are going to run into her again (I've made that mistake). This is the hardest part of mom dating but can be totally worth it. Suggestion on how to word it, "It was great meeting you, and our kids play so well together, we should play again soon! Can I text you my number?" The best part is, she has your number and you hers!
9. The Follow Thru - Throw that 3 day rule when dating a man (or woman) out the window and text her that same day. I know it may seem too soon, but do it. Moms are forgetful. As much as you may want to, don't text her the minute you get home. Too desperate. Text her that night, after the kids have gone to bed (making you seem busy and have a life). Perhaps something like, "Great meeting you today. I just ordered my kid some Mini Melissas because your daughter's were just so cute. Let's play again soon!"
10. Make the Playdate - Anyone can say "Let's play again soon", but you have to actually MAKE the playdate. Maybe make her an offer she cannot refuse. "We have tickets to The Broad museum next week. Have you been? Would you want to go?" This is how I sucked the mom of my dreams in.
11. Second Date - If all goes well on the first playdate, schedule a second one! Maybe something simple this time like the park. I bring organic snacks for this playdate in case the mom is crazy organic. By playdate number two, you should know if you have a mom future together.
12. Moms Date Only - After several playdates at the park, farm, museums, gardens, etc. you probably want to see if you can be friends without your kids. This is crucial. Perhaps go to the movies to see "Bad Moms" or go get your nails done because every mom needs a treat like this. Both of these dates require minimal talking if it's going poorly.
And that's it! Simple right? It can be painful, and hard, but it's worth it. Being a mom is hard but, moms need moms. So follow these 12 steps and go find the mom of your dreams!
*Dedicated the mom of my dreams: Kelly.
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| First date without kids to see "Bad Moms". |
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| Second date pedicures. |
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| Post pedicure drinks! |
