love, us: 23 Reasons LA is the Worst

L.A. man, what a drag it is to live here.

In just a couple of weeks we are headed home to Reno/Tahoe to attend a wedding and visit many of our family and friends. When we visit, I usually tell everyone to move down here. But really, it's the worst. Don't move here. Don't you even dare. There are just so many reasons you really shouldn't.

23 Reasons LA is the Worst

1. No matter where you live, the beach is less than a 30 minute drive.

2. It never snows and rarely rains. To see snow, you have to drive an hour.

3. We have so many sports teams. Dodgers, Lakers, Kings, Rams, Chargers, LA Galaxy, and more. And all those other teams, they come here to play.

4. All the biggest names in music and comedy tour here. Even the little names, who end up being big.

5. Every Broadway show that goes on a national tour, includes Los Angeles.

6. "Coming Soon to Select Theaters" usually means LA will be included.

7. There are just so many colleges here.

8. There are live tapings of Ellen, Jimmy Kimmel, Fuller House, The Price is Right, etc. to attend.

9. There is a metro system to avoid traffic.

10. People eat ice cream in January, outside.

11. Most people don't own coats, just sweatshirts.

12. There are just so many places to go shopping. From Rodeo Drive to The Americana to Magnolia Park vintage thrift shops.

13. So many food options. You can find at least 10 sushi and Mexican joints within a half mile radius. And don't even get me started on how many food trucks there are.

14. Theme parks around every corner - Universal Studios, Disneyland, Six Flags Magic Mountain, and Knott's Berry Farm.

15. There are numerous museums. Natural History Museum, Los Angeles County Museum of Art, California Science Center, The Broad, Griffith Observatory, The Grammy Museum, etc. Plus Pop Ups like the Museum of Ice Cream and the Saved By The Bell restaurant.

16. People play sports year around. Fall baseball, winter baseball, spring baseball, and summer baseball.

17. Pool day every day.

18. You're constantly running into celebrities. Miley Cyrus at Coldstone, Hayley Duff at the park, Keifer Sutherland at the grocery story, Rebel Wilson at Chipotle, Mario Lopez at a Karaoke Bar, Gwen Stefani at church...

19. You are constantly at or near TV/movie shoot locations. The house from the Wonder Years is near your dance studio, The La La Land bar is down the street, Hollywood Darlings shoots at your playground, etc.

20. So many exceptional dance teachers and sports coaches.

21. They sell cupcakes in ATMs.

22. People want to visit you if you live here.

23. It's a city that celebrates diversity and equal rights! (this is legit my favorite thing about LA)

Doesn't LA sound terrible? Don't ever move here!

*Please note that this is written in a sarcastic tone. Of course, this is the best place to live and our family never plans on leaving. LA, you're actually the best and we love you. And everyone should live in you.